Monthly Archives: June 2012

I Am The Woman At The Well

John 4:1-26, 39-42

This comes from the character profile of the woman at he well in the Celebrate Recovery Bible.

“When the Jewish man asked her for a drink, she was wary. Every experience in her life has excluded the possibility that she could trust a man. Her instinctive suspicion was intensified by the fact that she was a Samaritan, an unclean person in the eyes of most Jews. Her suspicions provoked an immediate question: “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (v. 9). Jesus’ reply included an offer of “living water” (v. 10). The suspicious woman had no idea what that might mean, but she knew that men lived to take, not to give. Still, her curiosity overcame her disgust: she did want to know how this strange man thought he could give her water when he had no jar or rope. So she engaged him in conversation, and his responses confused her even more.

The mysterious stranger claimed that he could give her water that would forever quench her thirst, water that would give her eternal life. That sounded too good to be true. She admitted to him that she was ready to end her exhausting trips to the well. But that response didn’t seem to satisfy the man. Impossibly, he revealed his knowledge of her secret shame (vv. 16-18). Her life so far had been bound up in giving men her body in the hope of satisfying her own thirst, her desperate need to be desired – no, to be loved. She had bounced from one destructive relationship to another, a pattern she seemed helpless to change.

This wounded woman was determined to conceal her hurts. Initially, she ignored the truth about her own life and tried to change the painful path this conversation was taking. Clearly the man was a prophet. So it should be easy enough to shift his focus from her onto the religious rift between Samaritans and Jews. But he wouldn’t enter into a debate, choosing instead to inform her simply that an hour was coming when truth would triumph and real worship would be a matter of spiritual condition and truth, not mountaintops or temples (vv. 21-24).

His simple words fired the embers of hope, hidden somewhere deep within and otherwise frozen and aloof heart. He was speaking of the Messiah who would solve all problems, end all conflicts, and answer all questions. Then he threw in the clincher, declaring that he was the Messiah, her Savior (v. 26).

Why did the Samaritan woman find it ard to understand the Master? So hard to focus on the reality of her own need? Sin and shame harden our hearts and prevent our perceptions. We become blind to reality and oblivious to the deliverance available to us in Jesus Christ.

Jesus cared enough for this woman to confront her with her sins and to fan into flame the embers of her hope in a coming Messiah. He was offering her real love, real life. Once she recognized the greatness of the gift, she felt compelled to share it with her fellow villagers (vv. 28-30).”

I find this story eerily familiar to my own. I too have given myself to fill my deepest desires – a desire for love. It’s odd in a sense to picture women 2000 years ago as having the same problems women have today. But it’s captivating to see the beauty in her conversation with Jesus. He knew all of her transgressions, and He loved her anyway.

I also struggled with what Jesus wanted from me when I first believed, because from my experience, men only wanted to take, not give. I didn’t understand what this “living water” was that I had heard about. I didn’t understand the joy and hope that I saw in others; but I was eager to know more and my curiosity overcame my disgust.

Jesus knew me and every sin I would ever commit in my life when He died on the cross, and He still chose to die for me. He knows me better than I know myself and He is always there for me to show love and compassion when I feel abandoned and judged by the rest of the world because of the things I’ve done.

The love of Jesus has kindled a hope in me that I didn’t even know was there. A hope that things will ne better. A hope that I was not meant for this world. A hope of unconditional love. How breathtaking!!

Because of the hope He’s places in me, I cant help but share ot with others. I don’t want to keep it to myself. I just pray that God will use me to help others to know Christ and draw closer to he Father. God never wastes a hurt; He’s going to use me and everything I’ve been through to make a difference.


Where I Fit In

Sometimes I wonder, where do I fit in? This is something I’ve wondered for most of my life. The “grown up” side of me says that this is a dumb thing to worry about as an adult but the socially awkward side of me reminds me that I don’t know how to relate to others.

For about as long as I can remember, I’ve been uncomfortable in groups of people. I just don’t really know how to talk to people. I’m always afraid of what people are going to think of me if I say the wrong thing.

I’ve always had friends. Some good friends, some not so good friends. But there has seldom been a time in my life where I have had a group of friends that I felt like I completely fit in with. I see how other people interact with each other and sometimes I find myself wondering, how do they make it look so easy? I think that’s why I like social media so much, because I don’t have to actually talk to people.

Today, as an adult, with children who copy things that I don’t even realize, I’m afraid that my girls will pick up my social awkwardness. I have friends from every walk of life. I can get along with pretty much anyone because I hate confrontation. But what I can’t do is relax and have a good time in a group of friends. I can’t seem to settle my mind enough to get to really know anyone. I’m often afraid that if people really knew the real me, they would turn in an instant and hats me.

I’ve been blessed by. The wonderful church and Christian people God has placed in my life. I may not yet be to a place in myself where I can comfortably enjoy the presence of a group of friends or feel like I fit in, in any group. But as lonely as I feel sometimes because of that, it’s okay. God is with me at all times and I am never really alone.

God didn’t mean for me to do life on my own and he is slowly opening me up to let others in. God has placed me in the rout community, in the right church for me to find people to walk through life with me. Now I just need to keep allowing Him to change me. Until then though, I need to depend on Him to pull me out of myself.


When Things Are Going Right

When things are going right, it’s real easy to trust that God’s got this under control. But when things have gotten out of control and you’re wondering how you ended up where you are, it’s not so easy.

You see, right now things are going pretty smoothly for me. Hubby and I are great, the kids amaze me every day, and I am simply…happy. which, for anyone who’s known me for any length of time, you know that happiness has not always come very easily for me.

I have, for a long time, struggled to find happiness. I search high and low and in many horrible places to find it. But happiness always seemed just out of reach. Everyone else seemed to have it and I wanted it…but I could never grab a hold of it.

It seems almost odd to me in a way, that I am this happy. Things aren’t perfect and there are a lot of things I wish I could change, and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with my lore being less than perfect. I’m okay with not living up to the expectations of others. I’m okay with being a stay at home mom and wife even though I have a degree ans some people think I should go back to work. But mostly, I’m okay with the fact that my life, as hectic as it can be at times, is in the hands of an almighty God who knows me, inside and out, and will provide for me everything I need.

It simply amazes me sometimes, the ways in which Hid has transformed my heart. And knowing that age’s not finished me yet, just blows me away. He’s already given me so much, it’s almost unfathomable that He would even consider giving me more.

God has placed some wonderful people in my life who have been so supportive and encouraging. He has, I believe, given me these pepper to show what He can do and how age can change my life, if I’ll only let Him.

So when things are going right and good on my life, I will honor God. But I will hlalso honor Him when things aren’t going my way because it ia through those things that He will perfect me and mold me into who He created me to be.


Work in Progress

We all know that I am not perfect. Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like I’m about as far from it as I can be, but here’s the reminder of my “work in progress.”

2 Corintians 3:18 – So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord–who is the Spirit–makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

God is working in me – changing me every day. I need to remember to give the glory where the glory is due, for the good things in my life. Anything good in me, is not me, but is God working through me. How wonderful that He would be able to use a broken vessel like me for His glory. I am blessed.

Some days are better than others. Some days I feel distant from God and some days I feel close to Him. Some days I can see Him working in my life and some days I wonder where He is and what He’s doing.

But then I remember that He hasn’t moved…I have. When I feel distant from God, I have to remind myself that it is my fault, not His and I need to draw closer to Him.

I am a work in progress and God is changing me, little by little, day by day. I didn’t get the way I am in a day and I won’t change in a day.


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