Before my Christian life began, I had all but given up belief in a God who could ever love me the way I was. I thought, if there was a God, He would never love me in the midst of my mess. He would never want anything to do with me until I got my junk together and cleaned up my act – and I had tried! I had spent many years trying to “get it together” so I could be all that everyone expected of me and then, just maybe, God would love me. But it always seemed to be futile because the more I tried to straighten things out, it seems the bigger mess I made.
Then I sent an e-mail that changed my life. Really, it only made my life messier, but it also introduced me to a love that I never knew existed. That e-mail was sent to my dad.
My dad hadn’t been a part of my life since I was a baby, my parents divorced when I was an infant. Regardless of the reasons why he wasn’t there, I forgave him. Even at 23 years old, with a family and kids of my own…I still needed him in my life. Forgiving him was easy…but getting the rest of my family to accept that I could forgive him – that was a whole seperate issue.
This distant man who I shared DNA with turned out to be the biggest catalyst in me giving my life to Christ. He sent me a Bible and began teaching me about the truths of the Bible. I will be forever grateful for the time I got to spend with him. He taught me so much, and eventually led me to make the greatest decision I have ever made in my life – giving my life to Christ.
It was hard for me to accept that God didn’t want me to come to Him once I “got it together,” He wanted me now so He could help me clean up the mess I had made of my life. I was hard to fathom that the same God who created the universe, intimately loves me and wants me to be close to Him.
In the last 9 months, I have learned many priceless lessons about my messy life. But the most important lesson I have learned is that – yeah, my life is a mess. It’s a total disaster…but God still loves me this way. God is going to take my mess and turn it into a message and He is going to use me, and my mess, to glorify Him.
So next time you think your life is too messy for God, take a look at the lives of some of the most famous people of the Bible…their lives were messy too. Their is no mess too big for God and there is no mess that He can’t use to glorify Him. We just need to welcome Him into our messes.