I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how they say Jesus understands what I’m going through. And I’ve been wondering, does He really? Do He really get it? Does He really know how frustrating/scary/angering/saddening my circumstances can be at times? Well, the answer is, He does, and I’ve known that. But a spirit of confusion had left me worrying about situations that I cannot control; situations that are all in God’s hands. And really, God is much more reliable than I am, I wouldn’t want to be the one in charge of these things.
But this morning my devotion let me to Matthew 26:38 – He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Seems kind of perfectly fitting for the things I’ve been thinking about. God is funny sometimes, how He answers prayers.
Jesus was about to deal with great physical pain, separation from the Father, and death for the sins of the world. I mean really, I don’t think it gets much worse than that. I think that has to be some of the worst pain in life to deal with, separation from the Father; I cannot even fathom how horrible that must be. It still boggles my mind that Jesus endured all that without fighting back against it or trying to clear His name. He just “took it”, because He knew that it was the only way to save the rest of us. THAT is love.
John 12:27 – Now my soul is deeply troubled. Should I pray ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But this is the very reason I came.
Jesus knew about what His future beheld, but because He was human He was dreading what was about to happen. But although He was experiencing deep, genuine agony He was still strong in obedience to the Father’s will. I want to live like that. I want to live in such a way that even when I know something will hurt, when something causes me anguish, when there are things that I can’t control, I still want to follow God’s will.
I often fail with not worrying about things that aren’t under my control. I worry about my kids and what their lives will be like and what kind of pain they’ll have to endure. I worry about my husband and how these deployments will affect him and whether he’ll come home safely. I worry so much that I’m sure it can’t be good for my physical health or my spiritual health.
And why do I worry when I say I believe in a sovereign God who is in control of my circumstances? If God has everything under control, then why am I worrying about things that, no matter how they turn, will be for God’s glory?
Matthew 6:34 – So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. This is something I need to remember. Why worry about things that may happen tomorrow when today is worrying enough? Planning for tomorrow is important, but worrying about tomorrow is a waste of time.
Worrying about things will leave me consumed with fear and by definition will keep me from trusting God in all circumstances. I need to make sure that I’m not letting my worries about tomorrow affect my relationship with God today.
Which do I see as more important, worrying or trusting God? All worrying will do in my life is exhaust me. Worrying is so energy consuming that it distracts me from almost everything else in my life. So my prayer is that I will be able to rest in the peace that God has given me and cast my worries on Him. He understands what I’m going through, He’s been. Who better to trust?