It’s not all guts and glory. I’ve been running for about 6 weeks now. I’ve had my bad days and good days. I’ve learned a lot about pushing my limits, but not pushing them too far, about proper hydration, and how to fuel my body. I’ve had ups and downs. I’ve had sore muscles and hurting feet. But have I had a bad run? No, I haven’t.
Even when it’s hard, even when it hurts, the run is still, always, worth it. Tonight, while making random turns through my neighborhood and not really knowing where I’d end up, I was about 2 miles from my house when the nausea kicked in and I nearly doubled over because I thought for sure that I would vomit. Then I realized that I still had to get back home and I wanted to cry. But, as always, I survived. I made it home, drank some water, laid down, and I dozed in and out for about 30 minutes.
This run wasn’t any different from any other run. Except that maybe it was a little hotter. This is what I mean by learning about pushing myself too hard. I have an all or nothing personality and I tend to over do it. My thought process says, “if you’re going to do something, you might as well go all the way with it,” even though, more often than not, that train of thought it what gets me in trouble.
I’m getting a little off track here; the point I’m trying to make is that, even when it hurts, it’s still worth it. Even though tonight’s run took a lot out of me – both emotionally and physically, it also gave me a lot, spiritually.
I felt horrible tonight and I wanted to quit, like I’ve never wanted to quit before, but I knew I had to get home. I sucked up the pain, fixed my eyes on the road ahead, and I made it home.
Over and over, through running, God has shown me amazing dependence on Him. Life, just like running, gets hard, uncomfortable, painful, and sickening, but in life, just like running, it is possible to push past all of that and depend on God to be my strength.
Yes, it hurts. No, I don’t like the feeling of pain. But the feeling of being alive – nothing can compare to that and I’ll gladly trudge through some pain and discomfort to feel that.