Category Archives: Deployment

Expect the Unexpected

It’s so frustrating when life takes an unexpected turn that you weren’t prepared for. This past week has been a rough one for me – for our whole family. Emotions are swirling around me in a chaotic whirlwind and I’ve simply been trying to keep my head above water.

Over this past weekend, we had to make the very hard decision to put down our precious puppy dog. He’s such a sweet boy and we love him dearly. He’s great with the kids and he’s so loving and affectionate and we are so heart broken to have to say good bye.

After spending most of Sunday in tears over having to make this decision, Monday turned out to not be much better.

Monday, my husband called me to inform me that he was going to be deploying soon…VERY soon. My heart sank and I felt as if I had been punched in the gut. It was like someone had reached into my chest and literally stolen the breath right out of my lungs. I sat in my car and sobbed as I was just overwhelmed by fear. I called a friend, and I’m pretty sure she probably had a hard time understanding me through my hysterical sobs. I tend to live and die by my emotions, so I’m very thankful for friends who are willing to interrupt my chaotic feelings with truth and reason (even though I would never admit that to them).

IMG_1763.JPG

Now that I’ve calmed down over the initial shock of re-entering into a season of deployment, I’m beginning to understand the importance of the mission my husband is being called to do…even though I don’t like it one bit.

So then, yesterday, I went to see my surgeon for a follow up from my sesamoidectomy, almost 8 weeks ago. He is pleased with my progress and how well my foot in healing. However, I also had an ingrown toenail (in the surgery foot) that had to be cut out. I also had some concerns about some pain I was having on the top of my foot and he told me that, because I am have been walking on the side of my foot instead of evenly distributing weight through my foot, I am quickly on my way to a stress fracture if I don’t correct my gait – so I’ll be starting physical therapy next week. And if that’s not enough, he also told me that because of the drastic instability of both my ankles, he wants me to consider a brostrom procedure on both ankles to help stabilize them. I’m a bit anxious about the thought of another surgery, but I’m considering it because if I go through with it, I will be able to run again without such a high risk of injury.

IMG_1892.JPG

So life this week has been chaotic and I’ll be happy when things settle down. But I’m also very thankful for where I’m at and where I’ve been and how God is going to use me from here.

IMG_1928.JPG

Advertisements

I’m Still Here

I realized recently that it has been a while since I posted a blog other than my 7-in-7 poems. So here’s one to get you caught up with where I’ve been over the last few months.

1)      I’m still running. I’ve been running my heart out to prepare for my first half marathon, which is in 20 days – the Rock n’ Roll half marathon in New Orleans. I’m still in desperate need of fundraising though. I’m running the Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I had planned a LEGO® Brick building competition, but we’ve had to adjust our plans to only do a virtual build competition because there wasn’t as much interest in it as we had thought. I’m pretty bummed out about it, but I’m praying that God will provide a way. I have 13 days to finish raising the money.

2)      Training is hard. Training for this half marathon has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Yesterday I ran my first double digit run – 10.01 miles. By the time I got home I was ready to collapse. My body ached and I was exhausted. But the pride I felt is something that no one can take away from me and something that no one could ever buy. I earned every mile of that run through the strength that God has given me. I am weak to survive these long runs on my own and I am so thankful that God is on these runs with me, giving me the strength to press on when I feel like I can’t take another step.

3)      Husband is home!!! Robert has been home for a little over a month now. It’s so amazing to have him here – to fall asleep next to him at night and have someone to share my lonely evenings with after the girls are in bed. The Army life is hard, but thankfully God has given us the grace to get through another deployment.

4)      My sister finished chemo and kicked cancer’s butt. You haven’t seen true strength until you’ve witnessed someone fighting cancer. Her strength amazes me and I’m so thankful that God got us all through it. She is why I am running. She is why I push myself so hard in training. She is my big sister. I may not tell her this enough, but even though we are grown up and have families of our own, I still look up to her.

5)      I’m almost a certified personal trainer. I’ll be taking my test later on in the month and (if I pass) I will be certified and ready to start training. So who’s ready to train with me?

 

There’s so much more I could write about right now, but I’m limited on time right now. I’ll update more later. My  New Year’s resolution is to post at least once a week, so you should be seeing a lot more from me in the near future.


7-in-7 #7: He’s Home

In the excitement of him coming home yesterday…I forgot to post my last 7-in-7 poem. Not my usual style of writing…but it’s what came out…

He’s Home
He’s home
No more waiting
He’s home
No more crying
He’s home

No longer alone
No more sleeping alone
He’s home

Seven long months
Time spent waiting
Hoping and praying
For that “welcome home” hug

This is our life
He serves
We wait
His job, his calling
Our hero, our duty
It’s not easy
But it’s all for love

He’s home
No more waiting
He’s home
No more crying
He’s home

20131212-071208.jpg

20131212-071234.jpg

20131212-071259.jpg


For the Well-Meaning Civilian

This is for all the wonderful, well-meaning civilians out there. For those who, so often, try to reach out and help the military spouse when her husband is gone. For the civilian who wants to show love and encouragement to the scared young mom while her husband is off in a combat zone…I’m going to offer you a little bit of advice on the best way to support the military wife during times of deployment or separation.

#1 – Do not try to offer cliche phrases as words of encouragement. These phrases include, but are not limited to: “You knew what it would be like when you got married.” “It gets easier, doesn’t it, since you’ve already done this before?” “At least you have your kids to keep you company.” “I don’t know how you do it. You are so strong.” “Put on your big girl panties and drive on.” “You have to stay strong for your family.”

These phrases, and many others like them, may come with good intentions. But for the scared, lonely, and stressed out military wife…these words do not offer much encouragement at all. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had people tell me to stay strong, pull my big girl panties up, or some variation of that. But to be quite honest, unless you’ve been on this end of battle, you don’t know how incredibly impossible it is to just “stay strong” when it, quite frequently, feels like the world around you is falling apart.

Many people seem surprised when I confess that I break down in tears about once a week, after the kids are in bed and the silence of the house is depressing. I just miss him, his hugs, his voice, his touch. I let myself break down, I cry out to the One whose strength has sustained me this far, and will continue to sustain me until my husband is in my arms again.

So if you want to offer encouragement, support, and love, just give her your ear to listen or your shoulder to cry. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything – that is okay, we won’t take offense to it. Offer to pray with her and for her. Give her Bible verses that might encourage her and remind her of God’s strength and love for her. Don’t expect her to be strong, but point her to the One who will be strong for her.

#2 – Want to give her a gift? Offer to watch her kids so she can sleep, read, clean, run, or whatever it is that she wants to do. She doesn’t know what peace and quiet is like. She doesn’t have time to sit down and read or to just sit outside and watch the beauty of nature unfold. Let her enjoy a few hours out of the house, away from the kids…let her feel free for just a little while.

Being the spouse of a deployed soldier is, in many ways, like being a single parent. It’s me and the kids, all day, everyday. While I love them and enjoy watching them grow and learn every day, it’s hard to do it day in and day out without a break. Life can get mundane and repetitive and it’s easy to slip into an “I’m not making any difference in the world,” train of thought. Which then leads me to feeling overwhelmed and stressed about my life and questioning my parenting ability and value.

Military wives, even if we portray an image of independence and self-sufficiency to the world, need your help to survive the deployments…whether we’ll admit it or not. We may not ask for help because of our own foolish pride; but it means the world to us to know that someone cares enough to offer.

#3 – Hug her. You may have no idea what she is going through and maybe you feel uncomfortable with her despair and desperation. Hug her anyway. And don’t let it be a fake, quick, one armed hug that just feels like your hugging out of obligation, not love.

It may have been days, weeks, or months since the last time she felt the warm embrace of a hug from someone who cares about her. Your hug will never replace the tenderness of the arms of the man she loves. But a hug can bring a tired soul to life and remind her that she isn’t fighting this side of the war alone. Your one hug can mean more to her than you’ll ever know.

I have a few friends who do this for me. They always seem to know, I’m pretty sure it’s God’s planning, exactly when I need a hug. Few things compare, when I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, to the feeling of a loving hug of a sweet friend. It feels like someone came along to help me carry the weight. Which is what we’re all here for, right? God didn’t make us to go through this world alone. He made us different in every kind of way. He made us to need friendship and love. Show her friendship, even if she is feeling too low to show it back.

#4 – Invite her and her kids over for dinner of bring dinner over to her house (and stay to eat with her). She’s missing the company of adults. Spending all day with children can get frustrating when all you want is some adult conversation. Just talk to her over a meal, not about anything in particular, just talk.

She is tired of sitting down for every meal with kids who don’t appreciate what she cooked for them and who end up throwing half of it on the floor. If there’s a baby sitter available, go for a moms night out. Have dinner, watch a movie, anything that allows her to spend some time with grown ups.

I’m sure there are many more things that could be added to this list, but these were just the primary ones I could think of.

As a proud Army wife, I am deeply thankful for my friends and family, whether military or civilian. The battle on home front is not one that we can fight alone. I think it is harder for civilians to understand what we’re going through and often our silly pride stands in the way because we think they can’t/won’t help for whatever reason. From my experience though, my civilian friends often want to help more than my military spouse friends because they don’t have the added stress of the deployment. But what stops them is they simply don’t know what we need from them. And unless we tell others what we need how they can help?


Blessings in Chaos

Life has been hectic for the Fishers lately. We’re in the process of buying our first house…and it has been a long journey of frustration and disappointment. But this week, we will be closing on our first house. We will have our very first home together and I couldn’t be more excited. But with that excitement also comes a sadness at knowing that once we get settled into the house, Robert will be deploying shortly thereafter.

So in the midst of the chaos – preparing for deployment, packing, cleaning, signing paperwork, re-signing the same form ten times, submitting new forms to the mortgage company, setting up insurance, electricity, and water, I seem to have been letting the little blessings in life slip by unnoticed. So I decided to make myself a list of my little, yet abundant, blessings, to remind myself of God’s love for me in this time of chaos.

1) The ability to buy a house. This is something I never thought would be possible for us, especially with Robert being military, but God has provided for us in ways I never thought possible. We just have to take the tedious steps that it takes to get to closing.
20130317-154232.jpg
2) Beautiful little girls whose eyes and minds are so pure and innocent. In the current hecticness of life, I haven’t been taking the time, as I normally would, for extra snuggles and kisses. I have been getting frustrated with the millions of questions that toddlers ask instead of taking the time to fill their curious minds with knowledge. I am so thankful for their presence in my life and thankful that God trusts me enough to entrust them to my care. I am thankful for their love of reading, just like I have.
20130317-154001.jpg
20130317-154520.jpg

3) Daddy and his girls. I never got the chance to be a daddy’s girl when I was a kid, but it was something I desperately wanted for a long time. It warms my heart to see Robert interacting with the girls, reading books, snuggling, or simply telling them how much he loves them. It’s already blatantly obvious that, in the eyes of these little girls, daddy is perfect…and it brings me to tears when I stop and look at the love between a daddy and his girls.
20130317-154412.jpg
4) Love. I am thankful for the example of love that Robert and I are able to give to our girls. A while back I read a quote that said, “the greatest thing a daddy can do for his kids is love their mommy.” And it hit me this afternoon when Mackenzie looked at a picture of Robert and I and said, “Mommy, you look beautiful in your dress. Aww, daddy is holding your hand. He’s so sweet to you.” I am so very thankful for a man who shows our daughters what love looks like and who takes joy in serving his family.
20130317-154622.jpg
5) Family. My mom and spent most of my life having a strained relationship. The last year or so, things have finally started to look up and my relationship with my mom seems to be on the mend. I am thankful for a mom and step-dad who love me unconditionally, in spite of the pain I have caused them. I am thankful that they are wonderful grandparents and that my step-dad loves me and my daughters as if we were his own. I am also very thankful to now have a relationship with my dad in spite of the pain he caused our family when I was younger.

6) Dogs. We have two awesome dogs who love us probably more than we love them. They are protective and sweet all at the same time and the puppy has even taken to sleeping in the hallway, right in front of the girls’ rooms, to protect them.
20130317-154721.jpg
This list is by no means complete. I’m sure there a million more things that I could add here, but now my sweet girls are up from their naps and I’m going to go have some play time 🙂


Fear and Faith in Deployments

The deployment is happening soon…too soon if you ask me. It’s all creeping up on us so fast and I am struggling to trust God through it. The truth that God is in control of whether or not my husband comes home is a scary and reassuring one. Scary because that means that Robert, even if he does everything right, may not come home, if that is God’s will. And reassuring because that means that God already knows what is going to happen and He will take care of me either way. I know that this is a time that I need to trust and lean on God more than any other, but I am really struggling with it becuase I am so afraid.

Faith and Fear
The pillow next to mine
Right now, it holds his head
But it won’t be long until
I’m lying in an empty bed
When I got married to a soldier
I knew that this would be our life
But that doesn’t bring me comfort
In bed, alone at night
People ask me how I do it
Truth it, I simply do not know
On my knees with falling tears
I don’t want to let him go
He reassures me he’ll come home
But doubt lingers in his eyes
He’s going off to fight a war
That could cost him his life

I’m trying to stay strong
In the truth that God is near
But I’m struggling to trust in Him
As I wrestle with my fear
What if he doesn’t make it
If he never comes home
Will I hold strong to my faith
If I’m left here on my own
When we were first married
As two, we became one
If I lose half of me
Will I forever be undone?

I know that God is faithful
I know that He is true
So why am I not trusting Him
To know He’ll get us through
His will, will be done
Whether I like it or not
He has a plan for all of us
He has lessons to be taught
Am I willing to let go of fear
And hold on to His love?
Will I hold on to things of this world?
Or to those from up above?

God, please hear my prayer
Please bring him home to us
Keep him safe and hold his heart
Let him feel Your love.
Your plans are better
Than mine will ever be
Help me to hold on to that
Please help me to see.
Help me to see that You are love
You give mercy, You give grace
Help me see the joy of who You are
Even in this horrifying place
You already know
What our futures hold
Please help me to rest in that
So in Your love I may be bold
Take my heart and keep it
Safe in your loving hands
I’m crumbling under all this weight
Without You I can’t stand
Give me strength to trust in You
And grace for when I’mlost
Help to lay all of these fears
Down at the foot of Your Son’s cross


My Brain Lesion and Me

Once Upon a Dizzy Spell... A Story of a girl living with a neurological condition

Spoonful of Stripes

Zebra stripes and every day life.

fit4365.com

Media Informasi Masakan Khas Prancis dan Cara Bikinnya

Best Race Signs

A collection of the signs that inspire us when we run races.

Bald Runner

My Journey In Ultra Running

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

Chris Martin Writes

Sowing seeds for the Kingdom

running in circles

it's more fun to run together

Breaking the Chains

Moving Forward in Life

Faith4TheJourney

And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. ~John 17:3

Our Life On The Border

Our life and ministry on the Border, The Baja & Beyond!

liveworship

ˈliv ˈwər-shəp - The collision of life, God, and the church.

One Mountain at a Time

Sharing stories. Encouraging hearts.

Grace Bible Church - Killeen, TX

Trust God's GRACE. Submit to the BIBLE in community. Be the CHURCH.