Category Archives: Poetry

Running Away

imageI want to tell a story
Of the power of grace
You may not believe it
But I’ll tell it anyway
At one time I thought
I could be good enough by myself
I didn’t need Jesus
Or anyone else

You see, not long ago
I was lost in this world
Broken by shame
I was a scared little girl
A smile on my face
Would tell the world I was fine
But the shame in my heart
Would tell me that I’m lying
I had endured abuse
And tried to take my own life
I had heard talk of God
But didn’t believe the hype
If He was so great
Why were my arms lined with scars
If He was so loving
Why was I falling apart

So I just kept on reaching
For the next thing I would need
To be happy, find peace
As I watched my soul bleed
At some point I would find it
Joy, love, and peace
If I would only try harder
It was almost within reach

“Almost within reach”
That’s a funny thing to say
It means the same thing as
“It’s too far away”

My mind was convinced
That I could fix all my problems
I didn’t really need to face it
In order to solve them
I could push them away
And ignore the burning pain
That rose in my heart
With the break of each day
It was almost within reach
I had almost achieved it
I was almost enough
I really couldn’t believe it

“Almost within reach”
Means I’d still fall on my face
When I jumped out to grab it
I’d land in a pool of mistakes
If I had only tried harder
If I had just been better
I’ll reach it one day
I’ll just try over

What was I reaching for?
What did I want to achieve?
Every time I thought I made it
I still landed on my knees
Peace, that’s what I wanted
Peace in my heart
Peace that would stay
In spite of my scars

That’s when I met grace
It was “almost within reach”
Almost, but too far
So God reached out for me
He said, “this is yours,
Stop trying to earn it.
Let me love you where you are
And you can have it.
You are a sinner
You can’t be good enough
But if you’re willing to see it
I’ll show you true love.
Look at the cross
And the love that was shown.
My Only Son gave His life
To make you my own.
To you, new life is given
It is freely yours
Only because Jesus died
To conquer the war.”

New life, grace, mercy?
What exactly did that mean?
Could I really stop trying?
Could I really “just be”?
The answer was yes
That’s all He wanted from me
God simply wanted
To give my soul peace

“Almost within reach”
Was always a lie
Peace couldn’t come
From clinging to my life

I don’t pretend to understand
Why God is who He is
I can’t fathom His greatness
All I need to know is this –
I’m not who I was
His grace changed my heart
Jesus loves me, He saved me
And He’s healing my scars
Day after day
His mercies renew
And day after day
I find peace in the truth


Jesus, I Need You

You ever have one of those days where the enemy feels the need to remind you of every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life? Yup, today was one of those…this was my response – I had a talk with Jesus.

Jesus, I Need You
Here I stand broken
I’ve got nothing to bring
I’m holding on to the lies
Like a cat on a string
I’ve pierced my own skin
And denied Your truth
I’ve gotten lost in my mind
And I let go of You
Jesus, I need You

My stomach is empty
Poison courses my veins
My body is fading
I can’t handle this shame
You say You can reach
All the way out to me
But I feel just one step
Too far to be free
Jesus, I need You

If You know my heart
You know my evil thoughts
I once held on to You
But I let go and I’m lost
I’m trying to fight
The lies and temptations
But few things can compare
To power of starvation
Jesus, I need You

My sin is enclosing
Around my every side
The truth is fading
While I cling to the lies
I worthless and useless
You’ll never love me
The voices keep screaming
That You can’t save me
Am I too far gone
To receive Your grace
Your love and Your mercy
I’m just a disgrace
Jesus, I need You

I’m crying to You
As loud as I can
My ground has been shaken
And I can no longer stand
My voice, it cracks
As I beg You to answer
Because, Lord, if You don’t
My heart won’t endure
If You can’t save me
I have nothing left
The only choice I will have
Is to end it in death
Jesus, I need You

Then I heard Him…
“Daughter, You have me.
I’ve always been right here
So let me confront you with truth
In the midst of your fear
You are faced with two choices
Only you can make
You can wallow in pity
Or admit your mistakes
It comes down to one question
Do you believe
That I died on a cross
Nails in my hands and feet
I was scared too
Just like you are now
But even then I loved you
Enough to pour my blood out
You could never pay
The price of your own sin
My death on that cross
Is the only way You’ll see Him
I conquered death
And I took on satan
So that you could be free
From this life you are living
So tell me, is that enough
For you to trust
Will you stop fighting
And just give it up
Or are you gonna tell me
That my death was in vain
That I died on that cross
Just to feel the pain
I died for you
So that you could live
I’ve made your heart new
You’ve been forgiven
I didn’t deserve
The death I received
It was meant for you
But I took it on Me
So don’t you yet see
That I want to help you
If you’ll give me your hand
Just trust that I can rescue
You must make a choice
So what will you choose
My arms are always open
Just waiting for you.”

Jesus, I am so sorry
For my doubt and control
Please take it all
My heart, mind, and soul
I need you to heal me
I need your strength
I’m scared and confused
But I’ll trust what You say
Jesus, I need You


He is With Me

Sometimes she wonders
If she is alone
Living here on this earth
She’ll never be home
The pain and the heartache
Stings to her core
She cries and screams out
“I can’t take much more.”
She empties herself
At the foot of His cross
With a trembling voice
She whispers, “I’m lost.
Where do You want me?
What am I doing?
Day after day I feel
Like I’m headed for ruin
My body feels weak
And my emotions are numb
I’ve hidden for so long
The pain can’t be undone.”

Her words just pour out
She hopes that He’ll hear
The agony she is facing
From years of despair
Too scared to move
She can’t face this alone
He puts His hand on her shoulder
And says, “you’re not on your own.
Rest in Me
And let me carry you through
I love you, I saved you
I know you’re confused
When you are weak
I am your strength
When you are scared
You must simply have faith.
I’m always at your side
Even if you can’t see
You’ll know I’m here
If you’ll reach out for me.”

His words felt like peace
And in Him she collapsed
“I’m so tired of fighting
I can’t change the past.
I’m clinging to my life
And by that I’m dying
I say I’m okay
But I’m only lying.
Take me, hold me
I want to give up
Why do I keep trying
To be good enough.
If I was thinner
If I was pretty or smart
Then and then only
Would I have clean heart.”

With His arms around her
He comforts her cries
“Sweet child, I love you
Let go of the lies.
None of that is true
You must know by now
For your soul to be saved
I poured my love out.
The shame that you carry
Isn’t yours to bear
Let go, let me catch you
I know that you’re scared.
Your heart was broken
When you were so small
You vowed not to trust
Swore you’d never fall.
But, daughter, just look
Where has that gotten you
Your broken heart
As pushed away My truth.”

“I know that you’re right,”
She cried out to Him
“I’m afraid of my past
And of all my own sin.”

With His gentle hand
He wiped the tears from her eyes
With His arms around her
He showed her the truth from the lies
“We’re in this together
Lean on me in faith
Trust that I love you
That I’m with you each day.
I’ll never let you go
I’ll never let you drown
Trust me to carry you
Across shifting ground.
I have you in my hand
And I’m holding your heart
This life may hurt you
But we’ll never be apart.”


7-in-7 Day 7: Who am I?

I’m posting this early. Day 7 isn’t actually until tomorrow, but God laid this on my heart tonight. It’s not my usual style of writing, yet every word is deeply true.

Who am I?
Really, who am I?
I could tell you my name,
But that doesn’t answer the question.
Who am I?

I am not my age
Nor my name or my weight
I am not my past
Nor the reflection I see
I am not my mistakes
Nor the things I’ve seen

So who am I?

I am a princess
A daughter
I’m loved by a King

I am an artist
I like to create
I’ve seen hell in my life
But I’ve also seen glimpses of Heaven
I feel deeply
And I love passionately
My skin is too thin
For the hate in this world
I spew words onto paper
And empty my heart
Express how I feel
In stanzas and lines
My favorite color is purple
And there’s something about a yellow rose
That just captivates me with it’s beauty

Who am I?

I’m human
I’m a sinner
I need friends
Not a lot, maybe just one or two
To help me through life
But I’m awkward and scared
Insecure and intimidated
Too afraid that you’ll reject me
Just as soon as look at me

Who am I?

I’m not where I have been
But where I am going
I am not what I’ve done
But what I am doing
I’m learning to give love
And also to accept it.

Who am I?

I am worthy of love.


7-in-7 Day 6: Help Me

I’m at a loss for words
I just don’t know what to say
This world is broken
And I don’t know how to pray
It feels like it’s over
Like You’re not even here
I’m just trying to trust you
In this gut-wrenching fear

Life or death
That’s the question at hand
Trust and doubt
I just don’t understand
To be blind or have vision
Help me to see
I can’t see like You do
Help my unbelief

You’re holding my life
You know my every moment
Even though now
I feel so forgotten
Where is Your hand
Why aren’t You moving
If life is a war-zone
This is a battle I’m losing

Life or death
That’s the question at hand
Trust and doubt
I just don’t understand
To be blind or have vision
Help me to see
I can’t see like You do
Help my unbelief

Caught up in doubt
Confused by my fear
Are you weeping with me
I really can’t hear
I’m hoping for more
Longing for grace
Do I have faith to believe
That You’re in this place

Life or death
That’s the question at hand
Trust and doubt
I just don’t understand
To be blind or have vision
Help me to see
I can’t see like You do
Help my unbelief


7-in-7 Day 5: Almost Within Reach

I want to tell a story
Of the power of grace
You may not believe it
But I’ll tell it anyway
At one time I thought
I could be good enough by myself
I didn’t need Jesus
Or anyone else

You see, not long ago
I was lost in this world
Broken by shame
I was a scared little girl
A smile on my face
Would tell the world I was fine
But the shame in my heart
Would tell me that I’m lying
I had endured abuse
And tried to take my own life
I had heard talk of God
But didn’t believe the hype
If He was so great
Why were my arms lined with scars
If He was so loving
Why was I falling apart

So I just kept on reaching
For the next thing I would need
To be happy, find peace
As I watched my soul bleed
At some point I would find it
Joy, love, and peace
If I would only try harder
It was almost within reach

“Almost within reach”
That’s a funny thing to say
It means the same thing as
“It’s too far away”

My mind was convinced
That I could fix all my problems
I didn’t really need to face it
In order to solve them
I could push them away
And ignore the burning pain
That rose in my heart
With the break of each day
It was almost within reach
I had almost achieved it
I was almost enough
I really couldn’t believe it

“Almost within reach”
Means I’d still fall on my face
When I jumped out to grab it
I’d land in a pool of mistakes
If I had only tried harder
If I had just been better
I’ll reach it one day
I’ll just try over

What was I reaching for?
What did I want to achieve?
Every time I thought I made it
I still landed on my knees
Peace, that’s what I wanted
Peace in my heart
Peace that would stay
In spite of my scars

That’s when I met grace
It was “almost within reach”
Almost, but too far
So God reached out for me
He said, “this is yours,
Stop trying to earn it.
Let me love you where you are
And you can have it.
You are a sinner
You can’t be good enough
But if you’re willing to see it
I’ll show you true love.
Look at the cross
And the love that was shown.
My Only Son gave His life
To make you my own.
To you, new life is given
It is freely yours
Only because Jesus died
To conquer the war.”

New life, grace, mercy?
What exactly did that mean?
Could I really stop trying?
Could I really “just be”?
The answer was yes
That’s all He wanted from me
God simply wanted
To give my soul peace

“Almost within reach”
Was always a lie
Peace couldn’t come
From clinging to my life

I don’t pretend to understand
Why God is who He is
I can’t fathom His greatness
All I need to know is this –
I’m not who I was
His grace changed my heart
Jesus loves me, He saved me
And He’s healing my scars
Day after day
His mercies renew
And day after day
I find peace in the truth


7-in-7 Day 4: Hope in Redemption

She was broken
But didn’t understand why
She smiled and agreed
Looked good on the outside
She tried fitting in
So she hid her hurt
She was afraid to admit
She was getting worse
She was starving herself
She longed for beauty
She ached to be perfect
Assuming it was her duty
Who could she tell
The horrible truth
She wanted to die
She felt broken and used
Every once in a while
Someone would notice
So she’d open her heart
Just to later regret it
She wanted to be happy
She wanted to be okay
But she had accepted
She’d never see the day

That’s when she found relief
In breaking her skin
For just one moment
She’d forget the pain she was in
She would watch the blood fall
And for a moment feel strong
But that small bit of strength
Never lasted too long
So she kept on doing it
Over and over
It became an addiction
She needed more to feel better
That’s all she knew
It’s how she dealt with the pain
It bubbled up to the surface
And she pushed it away

This only lasted for a season
Until she needed a change
She had to find a better way
To hide all her shame
So alcohol and drugs
Made their way to her hands
And in those moments
She found strength to stand
But she was standing on rocks
That would soon leave her shattered
And she was left to believe
Her life never mattered

Why couldn’t she shake
This feeling of being lost
She kept trying harder
No matter the cost
She worked herself to the bone
She had to achieve more
But was this really something
She was willing to die for?

That’s when something changed
God showed her grace
She saw who He was
In light of her mistakes
His love covered her
As she dropped down in tears
His arms embraced her
And pushed out her fears
“Why do You love me?
I’ve sinned way too much.”
She cried through her tears
As she clung to His love
He replied to her gently
“You are My daughter.
There’s nothing you can say or do
To lose the love of your Father.
Yes, you have sinned
And you’ve made big mistakes.
You’re broken and human
But I offer you grace.
Come humbly to Me
Give me your life
And I’ll give you hope
A future, a life.”

So she did as He said
She laid herself down
Before the cross she bowed
And He gave her His crown
She still has her struggles
This world is still broken
But she clings to the truth
Of hope in redemption


7-in-7 Day 3: He Will Equip Me

Last night I had conversation
Trying to understand
Even when I doubt
God has a master plan
This conversation started
As most they often do
As I questioned my worth
And remembered the truth

“Why am I here?
What do you want with me?
I fail You all the time
You continue setting me free.
I’m just a broken sinner
I have nothing to offer You
I can give You my heart
But it’s been battered and bruised
You know the things
That I hide in my heart
And You know the shame
That’s torn me apart.
But You still call me
To follow Your lead
And You give me vision
That I might see.”

My Father is faithful
He’s loving and true
So it shouldn’t surprise me
That He’ll put me to use
“Your sins – I abhor them
I hate what you’ve seen
But the hurt that you’ve felt
Is what brought you to Me.
I’ve cried when you’ve cried
I’ve offered my love
My precious child
You are enough.
You won’t understand
The depth of My grace
All you need is love
And a child-like faith.
Love others like Me
Share the hope that you’ve found
Don’t wander this life
Without making a sound.
Your feelings will change
But I never do
Give Me your life
And I will equip you.”


7-in-7 Day 2: When Memories Aren’t Real

Memories are funny
Like an image in your brain
They play over and over
Bringing tears of joy and pain
The moments are long gone
But somethings, you can’t forget
The good, the bad, the ugly
Images forever in your head
Some memories are joyous
And some are sharp with grief
Either way they ask a question
Where’s the root of your belief?

What do you remember?
What do you call truth?
Do you ever stop a wonder
If you got truth and lie confused?
We remember things we’ve seen
Things we’ve said and done
But our feeble minds aren’t perfect
And memories can come undone
What was it she said?
What was it that you saw?
Can you really trust a mind
That’s deeply prone to flaw?

Our memories can change
And we can’t recall the past
Some things we can see clearly
Some things we can’t get back
Our memories aren’t always true
That’s the wonder of our brains
They function in a way
To help us fill in the blanks

So where is your belief?
In the things you think and feel?
Or do you trust a God who’s unchanging
Who’s love is boldly real


7-in-7 Day 1: What if I Told You

What if I told you
That you were forgiven
That your life is worth more
Than you can even fathom

What if I told you
You were wonderfully made
You were knit together
With beauty and grace

What if I told you
You were enough
You are precious and honored
You are priceless and loved

What if I told you
You are more than your sins
You are not your past
You weren’t made for this

What if I told you
Jesus died on a cross
That He carried your sins
And He paid your cost

What if I told you
There is freedom and hope
You can have better life
If you’ll risk letting go

Would you take a chance
And run from your sins
Cling to the cross
And let new life begin

Would you step out
Walk blindly by faith
Trust that He loves you
That He’ll guide your way


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