Tag Archives: Abuse

7-in-7 Day 5: Almost Within Reach

I want to tell a story
Of the power of grace
You may not believe it
But I’ll tell it anyway
At one time I thought
I could be good enough by myself
I didn’t need Jesus
Or anyone else

You see, not long ago
I was lost in this world
Broken by shame
I was a scared little girl
A smile on my face
Would tell the world I was fine
But the shame in my heart
Would tell me that I’m lying
I had endured abuse
And tried to take my own life
I had heard talk of God
But didn’t believe the hype
If He was so great
Why were my arms lined with scars
If He was so loving
Why was I falling apart

So I just kept on reaching
For the next thing I would need
To be happy, find peace
As I watched my soul bleed
At some point I would find it
Joy, love, and peace
If I would only try harder
It was almost within reach

“Almost within reach”
That’s a funny thing to say
It means the same thing as
“It’s too far away”

My mind was convinced
That I could fix all my problems
I didn’t really need to face it
In order to solve them
I could push them away
And ignore the burning pain
That rose in my heart
With the break of each day
It was almost within reach
I had almost achieved it
I was almost enough
I really couldn’t believe it

“Almost within reach”
Means I’d still fall on my face
When I jumped out to grab it
I’d land in a pool of mistakes
If I had only tried harder
If I had just been better
I’ll reach it one day
I’ll just try over

What was I reaching for?
What did I want to achieve?
Every time I thought I made it
I still landed on my knees
Peace, that’s what I wanted
Peace in my heart
Peace that would stay
In spite of my scars

That’s when I met grace
It was “almost within reach”
Almost, but too far
So God reached out for me
He said, “this is yours,
Stop trying to earn it.
Let me love you where you are
And you can have it.
You are a sinner
You can’t be good enough
But if you’re willing to see it
I’ll show you true love.
Look at the cross
And the love that was shown.
My Only Son gave His life
To make you my own.
To you, new life is given
It is freely yours
Only because Jesus died
To conquer the war.”

New life, grace, mercy?
What exactly did that mean?
Could I really stop trying?
Could I really “just be”?
The answer was yes
That’s all He wanted from me
God simply wanted
To give my soul peace

“Almost within reach”
Was always a lie
Peace couldn’t come
From clinging to my life

I don’t pretend to understand
Why God is who He is
I can’t fathom His greatness
All I need to know is this –
I’m not who I was
His grace changed my heart
Jesus loves me, He saved me
And He’s healing my scars
Day after day
His mercies renew
And day after day
I find peace in the truth

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The Power of Grace

How do I know that God exists? Because I am not who I used to be.

When I first came to God, I was unsure of Him or who He was. I didn’t think He would want anything to do with me. I had been broken, battered, and bruised, all because of choices that I had made to lead me away from Him and the desires that He placed in my heart. As a child, I was confused about the longings and desires of my heart, so I put my hope in things of this world; things that would never satisfy my soul.

Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

As a young child, I felt abandoned because of my dad’s absence and I thought for sure that God had abandoned me too. This, among other things, would lead me on a lifelong search for love, validation, and acceptance. But it wouldn’t be until many years and many mistakes later that I would see, the only place to find what I had been looking for was in God.

God doesn’t expect me to earn my way to Him. He knows that I am an imperfect sinner. In fact, I’m sure He knows it better than I do. He knows that I fail every day to trust Him fully and to obey Him completely. But because of His grace and His mercy, I am confident that He still loves me even though I can’t measure up.

John 14:6 – Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I have always been bound by guilt and shame from my past. That guilt and shame has kept me in silence for so long. I suffered, but I wouldn’t speak for fear of rejection and ridicule. I hid my feelings and my emotions behind many layers of masks, thinking that if anyone saw the truth, they would surly stone me. But God wants me to be free from those chains. Jesus died a horrendous death on the cross to free me from the grip of sin and death; to free me from the guilt and shame that has kept me from experiencing His love and mercy.

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

For the first time in my life, I can say that I AM FREE!!! I am free to be the woman that God created me to be. I am not bound by my past and I am not controlled by my fears. But I am saved by grace! I have done absolutely nothing to deserve all that God has done for me, but He has had mercy on me and He continues to give me grace upon grace to get through every day.

Ephesians 2:8 – For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Yes, I still fail. Yes, I still sin. I am not perfect; I won’t be until Jesus returns or He brings me Home. We love in a broken world and horrible injustices happen every day. Innocent lives are taken or stained by the guilt and shame of abuse. My job in this world, until God chooses to take me out of it, is to share His love. He has brought me through so much “yuck” and it is because of the freedom He has given from that, that I am thankful for my past and for however God is going to use it to help someone else.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

I won’t pretend to understand His ways. His love, grace, and mercy are more than I’ll ever fathom. All I need to know is that He is good and He loves me.

Zephaniah 3:17 – For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

The Power of Grace
I came to Him in my weakness
I didn’t know who I was
I was tired of running my past
But too afraid to give up
Giving up meant failure
And I longed for success
But the choices I made to get there
Just created a broken mess
I had become a hollow shell
And numb to my pain
Crying out to Him
Felt like a cry in vain
Would He listen at all
To my pleas for His help
When the place I had come to
Was all because of myself

He brought me to my knees
I was shaking with fear
As He told me He loved me
That He’s always been here
I couldn’t understand
What kind of love is that
After I’d run away
With open arms, He took me back
For so long I lived
In the hell of my silence
Shame and guilt left me thinking
I’d never find acceptance
But He came to meet me
Right where I was
And He loved me so much
That He poured out His blood
He took all my guilt
And He took all my shame
And said to me, “Child,
Your price has been paid.
That shame isn’t yours
Put it down, walk away.
I’ll show you freedom
Through the power of grace.”

You see, I’m just a sinner
Just like everyone else
No better, no worse
And I can’t save myself
For so long I was convinced
My sins had left me useless
But He turned my life upside down
And He tells me, I’m priceless
The power of His grace
Has saved me from myself
So even when I am hurting
My soul can say, it is well


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