Tag Archives: Psalm

Drowning

Life as a Christian is not all sunshine and roses. There are definite struggles. Just because I have a deep joy and hope that I am saved through the grace of God, I still have very real and very hard issues in my life…and quite often, I feel like I’m drowning.

“Drowning”…that was the title of the sermon at church today. Today’s sermon was one of those where I personally felt like my pastor was speaking directly to me, like God put every word he spoke into his mouth because I needed to hear it…it was actually a bit eerie.

The past few weeks I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning – like I’ve been crying out to a God who hasn’t been listening – like no matter what I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to get my head above water to catch a breath.

Psalm 69:1-3 –  1Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.

Drowning should drive me to prayer. It’s weird, sometimes when my life seems to be falling apart and the control freak inside of me is panicking because I can’t hold it all together, sometimes I don’t want to go to God because I am angry or frustrated with Him because I don’t understand my circumstances. But in reality, that’s when I need to run to Him most. He wants me to bring my doubts and questions to Him. He already knows that I’m thinking them, I might as well be honest with Him about it instead of just holding onto it and letting it fester inside of me.

One thing I’ve realized about myself is that when I go to God with my doubts and my questions, when I actually form my thoughts into words, I realize how childish and selfish I’m being. I realize that I’m usually just acting like a child who isn’t getting her way. Not to say that my circumstances can’t often be frustrating or discouraging, but that I often have a bad attitude about the circumstances because they’re not how I want them.

Psalm 69:16-18 – 16 Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
17 Hide not your face from your servant;
for I am in distress; make haste to answer me.
18 Draw near to my soul, redeem me;
ransom me because of my enemies!

Drowning drives me to consider my purpose. My purpose in this life is not to just be happy and live an easy life. In fact, as a Christian, it is the exact opposite. Although I will receive blessings in my life as a result of obedience to God, God also promises me that I will experience struggles and suffering – what matters is how I choose to respond to it. Am I willing to move beyond my own narrow view of myself to use my suffering to help someone else? If I will allow God to use me, if I will follow where He leads, I can turn around and use my affliction to serve others.

This is something I’ve seen mostly within Celebrate Recovery. I enjoy serving others around me and reaching out to other people who are just as broken as I was when I first came to know who Christ is. Whenever I think that God cannot use whatever my current circumstances are, he throws me into so ridiculous situation where He reminds me that I can serve others using my greatest weaknesses and struggles.

Psalm 69:32-33 – 32 When the humble see it they will be glad;
you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
33 For the Lord hears the needy
and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.

Drowning will be reversed. God will redeem me from my pain and brokenness, Jesus died to save me from my own sin. He has a plan for me and for my life. Yes, there will be struggles and suffering, but He is still there with me. He still hears my prayers and catches my tears. I simply have to trust Him.  

One of the things my pastor said this morning that really stuck out to me was: when I feel alone, like God isn’t hearing my prayers, think of my baptism and what that resembles. In baptism, the old me had to die so the new me could have life…the old me has been drowned and the new me lives.

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Dear America

Dear America,

Let me start by telling you who I am. I am an American citizen who has, my entire life, been proud to be an American. I was raised by a wonderful mother who taught me about patriotism and service to my country. She taught me hard word and personal responsibility. I am a Christian; I believe in a sovereign God who forgives, love, and redeems. I am veteran of the United States Coast Guard; and I am proud of that. I am the proud wife of a United States soldier; I am proud to be married to a man who loves his country and his family enough to be willing to lay down his life, if need be. I am a mom of two very sweet and adorable little girls. I am a college graduate who worked hard for my education; I paid for my education through my service in the military. And lastly, I am distressed.

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

America, I am distressed that our priorities and values have gotten so discombobulated. What has happened to the values that this nation was founded upon? What has happened to the nations love for family and country? What has happened to the base of our government being the constitution? I used to find myself getting angered at the ridiculous decisions our government made, but now, more often than not, I just find myself getting saddened.

As a society, we have messed up priorities. We value the life and entertainment that a professional sports player offers more than the sacrifice that the members of our military offer. We value TV villains more than police officers. We value actors and actresses more than teachers. Why is it that the most important jobs in our society, jobs that are necessary to a functioning society, get paid the least and are the most thankless? When did we, as a nation, quit caring about the things that truly matter?

Proverbs 16:2 – All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.

My husband, a U.S. soldier, wants to go back school and as a service member he should be able to use his tuition assistance and easily have it paid for. But due to budget cuts, the military has cut all funding for tuition assistance until further notice. I know that I can’t be the only one who thinks that, that is absolutely ridiculous. How can we take tuition assistance away from our military and yet we still provide educations in prisons and jails?

What has happened to personal responsibility? Too many of us live with a sense of entitlement; like just because we’re living in breathing we deserve to have everything handed to us without working for it. Why do we think that? Because that’s what our culture and our government have taught us. Our government has said that if we don’t want to work, if just want to sit at home and have an excuse for not providing for our families, that’s okay. Don’t worry about any personal responsibility, it’s not your fault, it’s because of your parents and the way you were raised, it’s because of you grew up in poverty, it’s because your mom didn’t feed you all organic as a kid. We can come up with a excuse for everything, but what it really comes down to is that too many of us fail to take responsibility for our own actions and choices. What we do is no one else’s fault but our own.

Ezekiel 18:20The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

I am heartbroken and pensive about how far we have gotten from God. I know that this is a strongly controversial statement, but abortion is wrong. This is the ultimate failure of personal responsibility. My heart is heavy for the millions of women who have believed the lie that abortion was the only option. I am filled with compassion and sorrow for a nation that has been and is still lying to women that abortion will solve all their problems. Whether you want to believe it or not, abortion IS murder. If God is in control of all things and we only have what comes from him, then who are we to say that we have the right to take the life a child that HE created. I don’t really care what the good ol’ scientists say about when life begins. According to God’s Word, life begins at the MOMENT OF CONCEPTION. And who am I to argue with God?

Ecclesiastes 11:5As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.

Job 31:15Did not he who made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?

Psalm 139:13-16For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Exodus 20:13You shall not murder

We believe everything we’re told that abortion doesn’t hurt the woman, abortion is the best thing you can do for an unplanned pregnancy, abortion will solve the “problem” that your choices caused. They wouldn’t really allow something to be legal if it was bad for us, right? Oh how wrong we are. If there is nothing wrong with abortion, then why do women feel trapped in secrecy and shame afterwards? Most women numb themselves to the emotional and mental effects of the abortion because of the basic human need of self-preservation (and they don’t even recognize they’re doing it). Feeling the pain simply hurts too much. There is only One who can heal the pain of an abortion and that is God. It’s hard to believe, at least to me anyway, that He can forgive that, but that’s part of the marvel of Jesus’ death on the cross. All can be forgiven! I’d love to talk more about abortion and its effect on the woman, but this is not the place for that.

1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Personal responsibility; we’re all looking for a way around dealing with the consequences of our actions and our government is us a “quick fix” for everything. What we fail to understand is that those consequences don’t go away; they just get postponed or pushed into something else.

America was founded on Judeo-Christian values: free will – being free to make our own choices, personal, moral accountability – being responsible for our own choices and actions whether they are good or bad and dealing with the consequences, and a true moral law – which stems from Christ and the Jewish prophets.

Luke 6:46Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?

It’s heart wrenching to see the state our nation is in now. It saddens me that over half of our children don’t know what a successful marriage looks like. It’s depressing that God has been so far removed from our government and our society that anything related to religion is outlawed or banned. We wonder why or how things could’ve gotten as bad as they are now, and there’s only one answer for that – we refuse to acknowledge God’s sovereignty.

Isaiah 60:12For the nation and kingdom that will not serve you shall perish; those nations shall be utterly laid waste.

Psalm 33:12Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

It may not be within my lifetime, but I think that this country, as much as I love it, is headed for self-destruction if we don’t get our focus back where it needs to be – on God.

Joel 2:12Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;”

Proverbs 14:34 Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.

I would like to take a minute to note that none of which is written above is to be meant with judgment or anger, but my intention is love and hope. I hope that, one day, our nation will turn back to its foundations – back towards God. I hope that, one day, we will welcome Him back into our country. But until then, I trust Him and His plan for me and my family in the midst of the pain and suffering.

Sincerely,

A Broken Hearted, Jesus Following American


Am I Too Independent?

Independence is generally considered a good thing in our culture; to be able to do everything on your own without the help of anyone else is generally praised. But let me explain why I have a problem with that.

I spent most of my life not asking anyone for help because I thought I had to be independent. I thought I had to do things on my own if I wanted success. And where did that get me? That got me no where except filled with anger, bitterness, and sadness. I never felt like I could depend on anyone, nor did I ever feel like anyone cared. Trying to do everything on my own got exhausting and at a young age I was stressed and weary. But at the time, I had no hope or faith in an all-powerful God.

Isaiah 40:28-31 –
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

I can’t do life on my own. I wasn’t created to do life alone. First and foremost, I need to be dependent on God. This world is a scary place and it’s a constant fight. The more I fight to be independent, the more I throw myself into self destruction. God will give me everything I need to make it through this life, if only I’m willing to suck up my pride and ask him for help. Who am I to say that I can navigate this world better than He can, when I’m the created and He’s the creator?

Ephesians 6:10 – Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

A few weeks ago, in a conversation with a dear friend, out of the blue she said, “You need to depend on God more.” When I heard those words, I lost it. The day had already been rough and emotional, and her statement had me bawling like a baby because she is right. I depend too much on myself and on other people. Without even realizing it, I fall back into the “I can do it” train of thought and I don’t realize it until I crash and burn or someone points it out to me. I get so frustrated and angry with myself when I realize how little I depend on God because I know better. I know the miracles He has done in my life. I have seen His power before my very eyes. I have felt His love and grace in every area of my life. And yet, like the Israelites, I still fail to trust Him even after all I’ve seen Him do. I am all too human.

Psalm 18:2-
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I want to put God first in every aspect of my life. I want Him and my relationship with Him to be the number one thing on my priority list. But I all too often fail Him. I am so thankful for His grace and mercy when I do fail Him; He continues to still love me and pick me up from the mess I’ve made of my life and guide me in the right direction. He is so faithful to me and has given me way more than I will ever deserve.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 – 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God didn’t create us to go through this world on our own and He often shows us His love for us through other people. I know that’s what He did for me. I had never seen true, Christ-like love until I met my Celebrate Recovery sponsor. She was the first person to show me what true love looked like and because of her I have been able to receive the love that others have shown me and love them in return. We need each other. We need to love each other and walk through this life together, serving and caring for one another.

John 13:14 – If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.

Romans 12:16 – Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

My point in all of this is that we can’t do life alone. We can’t live independent of God and one another and expect to still live a happy, fulfilling life. It just isn’t possible. That’s not how we were made. I know, for me, I have to, daily, confess my dependence on God. Daily, I remind myself that I can’t make it through this world without Him and thank Him for the people He has given me to walk this scary road with me. Quit trying to be independent. Suck up your pride and admit your dependence on your Creator – I promise you won’t regret it.


Because I am Beautiful

I know I can’t be the only person who is appalled by what our society deems as beautiful. The messages we, as women, receive about beauty and success just make me sad. I googled the word “beauty” and the picture to the left is one of this first things that came up. It simply makes me sad for our next generation of girls who don’t know and understand how God sees them. Then I googled “Godly beauty” and the image to the right was one of the first results. There’s a big difference between what the world sees as beautiful vesus what God sees as beautiful.

We receive the message that we’re not beautiful unless we are very thin and wear designer clothing and we’re not successful unless we’re beautiful. And unless we’re beautiful and successful, we’re unlovable. For a long time, those messages shaped who I was and who I wanted to be. From a very young age I wanted to be thinner. I never felt good enough. I felt ashamed of my “ugliness” and I turned to extreme measures to try to find some comfort and control. I just knew that if I wanted to be beautiful then I needed to be thinner. I have tried to lose weight through the unhealthy obsession of an eating disorder. I have tried to manage the shame of that eating disorder through self-harm. It’s a vicious cycle. The more out of control I felt, the more control I tried to grab a hold of; but the more control tried to grasp for, the more control I lost.

All I wanted was to be beautiful because I wanted love. I never had the reaffirming love of my dad while I was growing up, so I turned to ridiculous places to find it. I didn’t find love in alcohol, I didn’t find love in self harm, I didn’t find love in an eating disorder. As I got older, I was beginning to believe that I would never find love.

But, better late than never, my dad showed me love. He showed me the love of an unfailing, all-powerful, sovereign God. As I began to understand who God was, I began to understand who He said I was and what He said was beautiful.

1 Peter 3:3-4 – Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Samuel 16:7 – But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

God doesn’t see beauty in our external appearance. Beauty doesn’t come from our weight or our clothes, but beauty comes from our heart. God doesn’t see the way the world sees. When the world judges us by our outward appearance, God looks into our hearts and sees our real selves, our hidden lives. That can be comforting or terrifying, depending on how we see God. If I try to find beauty based on the world’s standards, I will never be satisfied. But based on God’s standards, I am already beautiful and love by my Heavenly Father. I don’t like to dress up and I don’t like to wear make up, but guess what? God still loves me unconditionally and thinks I am beautiful. I am His daughter and He loves me, no matter how I look.

Song of Solomon 4:7 – You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

Isaiah 43:1 – But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

God doesn’t love me BECAUSE I am beautiful; rather, I am beautiful because He loves me.

When we look at what we think is beautiful, do we ever think about why we think certain things are beautiful? I learned a great lesson from watching VeggieTales’ Sweetpea Beauty with the girls. I’m not the one who finds beauty in everything, God does, but I simply choose to agree with Him.

I wish I could get rid of the messages that we’re not good enough, we’re not thin enough, and we’re not pretty enough. But society continues to pour out those messages and there’s not much I can do to stop it. However, I can counteract them with the Word of God. I can counteract those messages with choosing to not believe them and to believe who God says I am.

Psalm 139:14 – I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

God didn’t just throw me together from scraps, He knew me intimately and He intricately crafted me with the work of His hands. Who am I to contradict Him?


Because I am His

Over the past few weeks I have been bombarded, in nearly every study I have been doing and books I have been reading, with the truth of who I am in Christ and who I was made to be. I did not realize it until a few days ago, but it seems like God is trying to tell me something. Something I really need to tune in and listen to.

Ephesians 1:5, 13 – he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will…In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.

When I came to know Christ, almost a year ago, I did not know who I was or who He was for that matter. I was lost, with no clue how to get to where I needed to be. It’s like I was wandering in the mess I had made of my life and I did not know where to begin to get out. It seemed the more I tried to fix things, the worse I made them. It was a cycle…a cycle that I was trapped in.

Then, as a crazy turn of events, I met my dad. With his faith, he contradicted everything I had believed. And through a series of serious and life changing conversations, my dad led me to believe that this whole Christianity thing might not be so crazy after all.

Through another series of unexpected events, my mother-in-law led me to Celebrate Recovery. When I first showed up there, I was like, “Seriously, what am I doing here!!” The first lesson I heard at CR was on Sanity. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. It was when I heard that, that I realized there might be something wrong with me after all and maybe this program would be good for me. I felt like I had spent the previous 24 years of my life doing the same things over and over and over and over (you get the picture) and always expected something to be different. It never dawned on me that if I wanted things to change – I would have to change.

But the thought of me having to change terrified me. I did not like who I was or where I was headed, but changing meant facing the unknown and I did not know if I was ready for that. You see, my life had been built up of mask upon mask, and removing those masks terrified me because I did not know who was under there and what if, when all the masks were removed, I found out I hated that “me” just as much as I hated the masked “me”.

But God put some wonderful people in my life to help me through the scariest parts of the transition. As I began my Celebrate Recovery step study, I was forced to answer some hard questions about myself. I really had to look at myself and look to the core of my emotions and pent up feelings. It was quite overwhelming when I realized I had suppressed my feelings for the last 24 years and was forced to face them. I’ve never known how to deal with anger, sadness, frustration, betrayal, etc.  For most of my life I just pushed those feelings away because I was afraid to feel them, but I was learning I had to feel them if I wanted to be healthy. So I processed through things that hurt me when I was 8 as well as things that hurt me just the week before. The feelings were all so fresh that is didn’t feel like there was any time lapse.

Throughout most of the journey, I struggled with who I was in Christ. I struggled with seeing myself as God sees me and not as the world sees me. I struggled with not being ashamed of myself and who I was because He isn’t ashamed of me. I struggled with realizing that He really could love me even after all I had done. But thankfully, God gave me a wonderful sponsor and spoke words of love and wisdom into my life. She helped me to see that I am loved and I am cherished by my Heavenly Father.

I never got to be “daddy’s little girl” growing up, and that is what I wanted more than anything else. And even though I now have a healthy relationship with my dad, a relationship that I wouldn’t change for anything, I will never be able to change those years of longing for him and I will never be able to go back in time and be “daddy’s little girl”. But what I now know is that it’s not too late to have that relationship with God. I am His daughter and He wants me to come to Him, as a child who just wants to crawl up in her daddy’s lap and know she is loved.

Psalm 68:5 – Father to the fatherless, defender of widows–this is God, whose dwelling is holy.

Over the last year, specifically the last eight months, I have come through a tough battle with myself and drawn closer to God. I have cried, I have laughed, and I have felt more love that I ever knew existed toward me. I have learned who I am in Christ and I have been able to rest in that.

1 Thessalonians 1:4 – For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you.

But now that I am nearing the end of my step study and planning to share my testimony and become a leader at Celebrate Recovery, I have been faced with a lie that I am not good enough. I have forgotten who I am in Him and for the last few weeks I have been faced with an immense amount of insecurity about who I am. I have really struggled with fear of becoming who I used to be, forgetting that Christ died so I could be set free from that slavery and because of Him, I now have the power to say no to temptation and turn away from my sin.

Galatians 5:1 – For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (What an amazing truth that I don’t have to EVER go back to where I was; He freed me from that.)

Thankfully though, God hasn’t given up on me and He still continues to show me more love and grace than I deserve. He continues to pour His blessing into my life. In the last few weeks, He has really been showing me that I am who He says I am, not who I believe myself to be. After all, He made me and He knows me better than I do, I’d rather believe and trust Him anyway.

Romans 8:17 – and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.


Really God, THIS is Your plan?

It’s hard to remember sometimes, that we have a sovereign God who is in control of all of our lives. Especially in the midst of my circumstances, when all what I really want to say is, “Really, God, this is Your plan?” I often have to remember that evil does not come from God. The truth is, we live in a fallen world and the sins of this fallen world have circumstances. Whether it’s our own sin or someone else’s sin, we get caught in consequences.

Philippians 4:11-13 – Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Sometimes, I find it hard to be content in whatever situation I’m in. My mind often wrestles with my heart over my belief that God is good and God is in control. I know, from experience, that God is in control of it all and is with me, even in the bad times and that He’ll bring me through whatever life throws my way (even if I don’t want Him to be).

This is something I have really felt convicted about lately. Sometimes, I just wonder why I am where I am. Why, if God is so sovereign, is this where He wants me? God knew, before I was ever born, about me and what my life would be like, so why did He choose to let me have life? Did God really know this is what my circumstances would be?

Jeremiah 1:5 – I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart

I need this constant reminder. There’s something powerful in knowing that I didn’t just drop into this world by accident but that God knew me before I was ever here. God knew me before I ever knew Him. God loved me protected me even when I didn’t believe in Him. Why? Because I am His!

Psalm 139:16 – You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

This verse can settle my anxious soul. When I am worrying about my circumstances and why I am in them and why God doesn’t remove them, this verse calms me. God knew MY ENTIRE LIFE before I ever took my first breath. He knew the choices I would make, He knew the sins I commit, He knew the sins that would be committed against me, and He knew how I would respond to all of that. That kind of power pretty much boggles my mind, but I think that’s one of the MANY reasons God is amazing.

Maybe my life would have been a lot different had my circumstances been different, but I wouldn’t be right where I am today if they had been. You see, I’ve seen my fair share of bad times and felt my fair share of pain, but even before I understood who He was, when I didn’t want Him, and when I didn’t know He was there, He was right next to me helping me make it through. God isn’t going to bring you to anything that He won’t bring you through.

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God has a plan for me and as long as I am willing to follow His will instead of my own, He will give me a future and a hope.

I need to start letting my actions coordinate with my beliefs. If I believe God is control of everything, then I need to act like, even when times are hard and I feel like God is punishing me. I need to remember that the evil in my life doesn’t come from God, but that God is there to help me through.


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